Getting back to dating after a long-term relationship
Getting back to dating after a long-term relationship. A couple things to considering before returning to the dating scene.
Regardless of whether or not the end of your last relationship has been you decision, it can be quite scary to start everything from scratch. Redxter offers a couple practical advices for Men and Women seeking a long-term relationship.
After breaking up a long relationship, it can be almost scary to be single again: for so long you relied on your significant other to satisfy certain emotional, practical needs. One of the most liberating things in single life is the empowerment it gives: you realize that you have the skills and talents to cope in life that have been dormant for years and can now be resurrected.
You are ready to look for a new relationship, when your motivation is the desire to share your life with another special person - in opposition to the feeling that you need someone to save you.
Look and feel attractive
Breaking up a relationship can be very detrimental to our self-esteem, especially when we feel attractive and sexy. Moreover, in the security and intimacy of a long-term relationship, caring for our appearance may become a low priority; we can get used to looking for clothes that really suit us, or take the time to care because we associate these habits with our younger and (perhaps) naive selves.
However, your appearance is very important when looking for a new partner - and not just because looking your best is one way to get attention! Both genders are made more attractive by the people who take care of their appearance: by showing that you care about the way you look, you are signaling that you want them to find you attractive.
After a relationship breaks down, it can also be hard to imagine having a new physical relationship with someone. These feelings are natural and usually disappear with a little time and the excitement and joy of meeting a new and special person.
Changes in dating etiquette
Most people are often worried, that when they retunr to dating after a long-term relationship the rules of dating has changed since they have last been single. To a certain extend that is true due to online dating services. A few years ago, most people very rarely went on a blind date or met someone every week! But that's just the difference in procedure. Yes, online dating allows people to connect with people they wouldn’t otherwise meet, but after the first contact, the skills needed to form an attachment are the same as always.
The biological clock
Whether it's about you or a potential partner of you do not be obsessed with the biological clock. The media sometimes overplayed the difficulties conceiving later in life, as a result, some people let fear of infertility manage their decisions about relationships. But no one likes to think of themselves as just a means of producing a baby. What matters to a successful relationship is how your partner feels - not whether he or she is able and willing to give birth to offspring as soon as possible.
You may have to adapt to the fact that your circumstances or your partner’s circumstances are more complicated than when you last lived as a loner. One obvious “complication” is the child. Some shifts may be needed, especially because many still feel that the standard for domestic agreements is the usual nuclear family. However, it is important, especially in the early stages of dating, not to consider children as a ‘package deal’. When you date, your relationship with the other person matters the most. You may also want to play your dates as far as your kids are concerned. It may be better to wait for a relationship to develop beyond a date or two before you involve them.
Maintaining a relationship
People who have long-term relationships are usually good at relationships. Whatever the reason for your last relationship break up, it’s likely that some of the years you spent together were happy. This means that you already have the skills to make the relationship work. You already know about compromise and communication, and about putting your partner’s needs first. Now you just have to find someone who really suits you! Hopefully Redxter will help with that.