They don't answer: what can you do?

Don't answer anymore? Possible causes and simple tips to restore relations: Read this guide now!

You have exchanged a couple messages, maybe you've even met in person - but they don't answer anymore. You may be a little angry after the first worry, after all, you got along well.

No more answering: Just don't blame them!

The first digital conversations are often fast: one message follows one another and the conversation never runs out. At some point, the pause between WhatsApp and Co. messages gets longer and longer. Sometimes this happens unnoticed when the charm of a new acquaintance needs to be reconciled with everyday life.

So long breaks do not cause excessive anxiety. One should only ask whether the break is significantly longer than before.

In a friendly manner, avoiding pressure or blame you can easily find out what happened with the person you have talked with in the past days, weeks, or months.

Then they have to react. Maybe an excuse will come because they were very busy at the moment. Maybe they had to figure out what they were feeling first. There may be no explanation at all. The latter can be very frustrating, but it also clearly shows that the women of your dreams then found elsewhere.

That's why they don't respond anymore

There may be very different reasons for the surprising radio silence, and only a few stand directly with you. This can help you investigate the cause first:

  • There was a difference between the last messages that may have led to confusion?
  • Maybe they anounced that they wer going to travel a lot, due to work reasons?
  • Is the news fairly casual, repetitive and without revealing much?
  • Maybe the pace was too fast (or too slow) for a potential partner to look for the distance first?
  • Maybe they wait for you to call them?

Longer pauses in between conversations can be quite common, especially at the begginning of getting to know eachother. After all, the person you are talking to is as balanced in work, family, and hobbies as you are. Therefore, WhatsApp messages do not always have priority. Even if the woman is actually very interested in you!

A business trip or a long illness sometimes means that women in the dating stage do not respond immediately.

They don't have time

Family, work or hobby: it takes all the time. Dates, especially for demanding jobs, sometimes have to come back - at least for a short time. You probably know this too, and therefore you will respond with understanding if you only come back to you after a while.

There is somebody else (other than you)

In an online dating site, you may be able to continue your relationship with several interesting dating partners. In other words, the election is held open. After all, when you first contact, you can never know for sure whether your dating profile will keep what it promises.

If they decided they wanna get to know someone else better, that might be a reason to why they don't contact you anymore.

Who'll write first?

The rumor persists: men have to prove that they are really interested in the woman and have to get in touch first. The woman, however, would prefer to make up herself.

In the 21st century, you can safely play such games. Do you like them and want to talk to them or read a message from them? Then write to them. Even if it might be their turn again. Love is when you show your interest in each other very clearly.

Of course, you need to stay balanced overall. If the relationship stays one-sided and doesn’t reveal much about itself, interest is likely to be quite low.

They are hurt (and they tryna let you know)

Written messages are exchanged quickly, especially with tight schedules and busy days. Unfortunately, a lot is lost in the process and misunderstandings arise quickly. We take funny remarks at face value, we don’t recognize the irony - or worse: In a more serious argument, words come up that should have been omitted.

This is difficult to determine in retrospect. If you still have messages when you last disconnected, you can definitely read them again. Do you notice anything that could be taken offensively or ambiguously? If so, you can always send a short apology or correction.

They are not interested

Ghosting is the behavior when someone is completely immersed and no longer responds to any attempt at contact. This is relatively common in online dating. It’s relatively easy to virtually haunt someone, that has “disappeared” from the screen. It’s harder if you have the same group of friends or acquaintances, live in the same neighborhood, or use the same bus route.

In the online rendezvous ghosting often in an attempt to complete the connection without debate. You can then read the messages - just don’t reply, delete them unread, or block your WhatsApp and Co. number directly.

Would it be nicer for everyone to express themselves openly and clearly when dating - even when there is no longer any interest? Obviously! But sometimes women in particular have negative experiences. Then they were offended if they were deleted for a long time or disturbed by messages. In order not to have to experience this again, some women no longer respond at all and seek refuge in more nerve-friendly spirits.

Intensity of contact

It can be exciting to talk about the weather, the stock market, or your pets every day. But it can also quickly get boring. If you don’t get in touch, the exchange may not have been interesting enough for them. After a tiny conversation about the first few messages, the conversation can go deeper. Did you share your personal experiences with them? If you prefer not to share too much in your life in the beginning, that’s understandable. In love, however, distance is less useful, closeness is achieved mainly through open communication.

On the other hand, he may have revealed too much intimacy too early, immediately communicating strong feelings, and perhaps scaring them.

Tips for the follow up

The conversations were great, as were the first, second or third meeting. You don't like to give up in a hurry. What can you do specifically to get an answer after all?


„ Why wont you answer? 

„ Write me back! 

„ Something happened? 

„ Hahooo !!!! 


„ Hey, I was just nearby, and then I noticed the cafe we wanted to go to again. Would you like to go out there for coffee next Saturday? 

„ Today i've seen a dog that looked like yours. Was everything okay at the veterinary yesterday?? 

Remember I should watch the XY movie? I finally did it and you were right: great. Do you have any other movie tips for me? 

The best thing to do is follow up on the last conversation or ask a question about another topic you’ve already discussed. Open-ended questions promise the most success to answer without pressure or demand.

What happens after:

  1. No reaction? Then the date at this point is probably over. Move on and keep your eyes open for love, that’s a good motto now!
  2. Superficial, reversible reaction? Even then, interest probably disappeared. At this point, think carefully about how you can move on now. Is it okay to keep the little conversation a little longer? Want a little more commitment? You can address the latter at one of the following meetings.
  3. Real, warm answer? Congratulations you two are in contact with eachother again!

Of course, it is important to maintain this connection. If you’ve already reviewed the above questions about the root cause research, you’ve probably already found a clue. In one of the following appointments or phone calls, you can ask him how he envisions his future communication.